this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
