I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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