Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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