I cannot find my penis.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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