You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My feet surprised me
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
