I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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