I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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