So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
