Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
