Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize