wrigley field is MILF paradise
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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