...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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