When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
