don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
