Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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