watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
