I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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