I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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