how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Randomize
