i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Randomize
