S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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