I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
