Well douche your snatch and let's go!
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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