Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
