Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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