Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
