So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
