Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
