fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
