her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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