In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
