But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
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my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
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When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.