Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Randomize
Follow @tfln