Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail