What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize