Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
