is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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