why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
