I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
