I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
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She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!