Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
You ate ashes out of my bong