He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
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Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
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I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??