You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
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