Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
