I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
