OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
