Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize