burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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