Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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