How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
