so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
