u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
