Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
