I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize