She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
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guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
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That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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