Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
