I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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