i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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