Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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