I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
